Things I'm Afraid to Tell You!

A few weeks ago I was running through my normal blog reads and came across an inspiring post by Jill at Dirty Water, Dirty South! I know I’ve shared with y'all about how I want my readers to know me inside and out. Know my strengths and weaknesses, know what makes me tick and what simply ticks me off, and know that I am as honest as they come! I think I have done well so far! You learned here, at my guest post on Blabbering Thoughts, that my past was a bit bumpy. You’ve read often how unhappy I have been at my place of employment. You even found out last week that my sweet hubby got sick on our wedding day! Y'all obviously would never know any of this if I didn’t share it with you! Well I’m here to share more, unveiling some of my fears and insecurities. Fears that haunt me, inhibit me, and push me.

 ~ I’m fearful that in 20 years my husband will wake one day and leave me. I’ve seen this happen with my own two eyes. With a simple explanation of “I’m not in love with you anymore” my stepfather of 16 years left my mother one morning and never looked back. For 16 years I watched him love Jesus, love my mother, he loved me, and they had and loved my sister, but one day it all changed, an abrupt surprising slap in the face. I am terrified that one day my own sweet dear husband will wake and say those same hurtful words to me. We’ve always said if things were to EVER get to that point we will and would have discussed it and fixed it before it could ever escalate to that actual point. But there is still that fear. I mean my momma and stepfather never thought their marriage would end, especially not in such a heartbreaking way. So what would/could prevent my own husband from changing his mind 20 some years later?!

~ I’m fearful that I will never be as successful as I have the potential to be. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a smart gal. I’m extremely driven, dedicated, hard working, blah blah blah {y'all know the rest}. I like the lifestyle we live and hope one day that it can be even better than what it is now. However, I’m fearful that I’ll never make it. That I’ll never move up the corporate ladder to a position where eventually I won’t have to live paycheck to paycheck. I’m scared I will fail at being a successful independent working woman and that I will be stuck in the same spot for the rest of my life.

~ I’m fearful of becoming a mother. As much as I want to become a mother it scares me to death. Just being a puppy momma {which has given me a tiny glimpse into motherhood} has scared me! Being responsible for a human being, holy shit, that’s a crazy insane responsibility to take on in my opinion. I see kids today and want to slap their parent’s silly for the way their children behave. They are so rude to adults, to other children, and don’t even get me started on how they turn out as teenagers and then young adults! I mean, what {even if our parenting is the way it is “supposed” to be} if my children turn out to be those asshole kids?! The ones you hear yelling at their own parents, or bullying other children or God forbid even the ones who turn into mass murderers?! I mean seriously you can do everything right in the book and your child still turn out nuts! That scares the pure living daylights out of me! Simply put, I’m afraid I’ll fail as a mother in raising a respectful, smart, beautiful child.

~ I’m fearful in trusting people. I am an open book and will tell you anything you want to know {for the most part} but as far as trusting you with what I share with you, I don’t. Therefore I pick and chose wisely what I say and share with others because I don’t trust what they will say and share about it with the next person. I blame this on being burned too many times. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I love a WHOLE lot, and I would do just about ANYTHING for ANYONE, but trusting folks, not so much. I’m tired of being burned and this allows me to protect myself but it also can hinder relationships and I know that’s a problem.

~ I’m fearful of having my home broken into and being murder. It could be that I have a wild imagination, that I watch too much news, or read too many online articles about all the crazy crap happening in our world. People robbing people, people killing people, and now we can add people eating people to the list {WTF?!}. It gets to the point where I double check locks and windows in the house even though we actually live in a safe neighborhood and nothing has ever occurred to make me think otherwise. If I hear a funny noise {which I probably made up in my head} I panic and pull the sheets over my head and pray that my playful pup and half dead sleeping husband will protect me from an intruder, but because I sleep closest to the door, I’ll be the first they knock off. This “freak out” can last between 20 minutes to three hours. Yes, three hours of staring at the doorway of our bedroom, heart pounding in my ears, listening for any crash, bangs, or booms. Maybe I’m on my way to the loony bin, who knows, but it is a legit fear of mine.

So yes my lovely readers, I am only human after all! I have fears, some serious legit fears, some not so legit but they are all my fears. I struggle with them often and hope and pray that one day I can over come all of them! I hope by sharing them with y'all, it will inspire you to look more inward to your own fears and began trying to over come them as well!

Hope y'all are having a Terrific Thursday {Sorrrrry, I had to say it, considering all the seriousness I just wrote about}! One more day till the weekend! Hope everyone is staying cool and hydrated as well! It’s been quite hot in our neck of the woods!!!

XoXo,

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Wooooohoooo! Already to the half way point of the week! I like it! Of course after taking last week off from WILW I am back, with some loves of the week!!! Enjoy!

1. This Anniversary Photo Session Photo. If y'all follow me on Twitter or Instagram {if not, you should!} than you may have seen this already. If not, well enjoy! On Sunday, of our trip to Charleston, we met up with the sweetest and talented Dana Cubbage of Dana Cubbage Photography to document our first anniversary and our trip! I've seen the gallery of proofs already and really can't wait to share them all with y'all!! She got some great shots and other than my hair not cooperating with the humidity of SC I think they turned out lovely! I seriously have got to get to blowing up photos and hanging them in our home {I have yet to even do that with our wedding photos}!

2. Cutting out the *bullshit*. Excuse my French but really it's the only way to put it. Within the last year I've really learned who my real friends are and who aren't and that list has dwindled to a VERY VERY select few. Disappointing yes,  however, I am totally okay with this. Ive found that I am way more happier when the access bullshit has been removed from my life. I have so many important things to focus on in, such as my family, myself, my job, my goals, etc. that I don't have time to entertain high school antics or waste my time with complete disrespect and dishonesty. I won't force anyone to be my friend and I refuse to sink to any level of immaturity to keep a friend for the sake of keeping them. It's not worth it. At the end of the day who is going to be there for me? My husband, my family, my sweet baby Reef, and those close tight friends! They love me for ALL of me, my strengths and my weaknesses. If you can't do that than quite frankly I don't need you or better yet, I don't even want you in my life.

3. 101 Blog Followers! Holy Moly! I can't even believe that in such a short time period I have gained this many readers! The blogging community is such a supportive group of ladies and I am so thankful for the friendships I have already made! So many people are so happy for one another and constantly promoting one another. It really is a wonderful opportunity to meet so many kind hearted people! I can't thank you all enough for reading my rambles, for leaving sweet comments, and for sending encouraging emails and tweets!

4. This E-card! I was browsing Facebook yesterday when I saw that someone had posted it! I couldn't resist re-posting it on my wall! I mean lets be real, you know you ALL are looking forward to this movie! Who wouldn't?! Folks on Facebook liked it so much I've gained almost 50 likes! Really?! 50?! That's crazy... I can't even imagine what the movie theaters are going to be like on opening night! Well, I can imagine, high shrieking 25 - 50 year old woman! And Dear God, I will feel incredibly sad for any man who is talked in to going to see it. Ladies, leave your men at home and go with girlfriends...drama free girlfriends at that {reference #2 on my list today if need be}!

5. Pedicures. I normally do not splurge on these. I'm pretty good at painting my own toes and keeping them looking good. However, every once in awhile it's nice to have someone else do them for you, especially when you have literally walked your tootsies off in Downtown Charleston! I'll share more details when I post about our trip, but while the hubby was getting an hour long massage, I opted for a pedi and shellac manicure! And I am here to say, that a week later they are both still looking fabulous and making me feel so put together! It's the little things right?! After my little pampering experience, I may just have to treat myself a little more often!

And an EXTRA LOVE today:

6. The Bauble Swap over at Because Shanna Said So! Check it out!!! Too much fun and apparently my partner has already picked my little pretty up! I need to get shopping!!!

 Now that we are half way to Friday I hope everyone is gearing up for a fantastic summer time weekend!! Anyone doing anything crazy fun?! You know I always love to hear what y'all are up too!! Have a stellar rest of the day!!!
XoXo,

The Art of Racing

I know that pretty much every female under the sun right now is reading the Fifty Shades trilogy! And yes, I read all three, in 5 days mind you! I am actually contemplating reading them over again because I did enjoy them that much! Not to mention, I've missed Ana and Christian dearly!

While I have been waiting to get back book number one from my hubby's aunt, I decided to read "The Art of Racing in the Wind" by Garth Stein. Several folks at work told me it was a great read and considering I am a dog lover I had to give it a try! Point blank - it was great!

*Warning*, it will make you cry and if you have a sweet furbaby of your own, it will more than likely make you sob! The hubby even got a little choked up when I told him the story! However, you will look at your dog in a totally different light! You will ponder what he thinks and you will second guess the things you do and his reactions that relate to the things you do! You will begin to treat your furbaby more like a human than you already do! This I promise you!

The book is told through the perspective of Enzo, a lab mix dog. This is taken from the book's website:

"On the eve of his death, Enzo takes stock of his life, recalling all that he and his family have been through: the sacrifices Denny has made to succeed professionally; the unexpected loss of Eve, Denny's wife; the three-year battle over their daughter, Zoë, whose maternal grandparents pulled every string to gain custody. In the end, despite what he sees as his own limitations, Enzo comes through heroically to preserve the Swift family, holding in his heart the dream that Denny will become a racing champion with Zoë at his side". 


It is an easy read and extremely uplifting! It proved even more to me that our dogs really are like people and maybe even better than people! They are selfless, loving, comforting, and loyal no matter what, no questions asked! They love us unconditionally! If that is not a best friend, I don't know what is!! 


I really can't rave enough about this book and I highly suggest you run out and buy it or download it to your reading device! You will love it and you will love your furbaby EVEN more! I didn't even think that was possible, but it is!! 


I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday!!! Things at my office are getting hectic now that I've started doing some training for my new position, in which I CAN NOT wait to tell y'all about! It has been nice doing something different and staying busy!!! 


If you aren't already, be sure to follow me on Twitter {LAHisFabulous} and Instagram {LHHisFabulous61111} to see even more of my rambles and Baby Reef photos!


XoXo, 

Treats for Me!

Happy Monday Y'all!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend celebrating their dads, stepdads,  granddads, hubby's who are dads {to both children and furbabies} and all the other daddy like folks in your lives!!! Our weekend was pretty relaxed and it was just how I hoped it would be!

As many of you may have read already, I have a HUGE problem, treating myself to clothes! While I love looking at fashion, I HATE shopping. I also suffer from serious buyers remorse every time I do spend money on myself. It's sick and weird and I don't understand it! I hope to outgrow this "phase" considering I used to really enjoy shopping and "pissing" money away on clothes! Nonetheless, I did treat myself this week/weekend!

First item on the "let's add pizazz to my wardrobe" project... the infamous J.Crew Bauble Necklace! Y'all know what I'm referring to! It looks a little something like this:

I learned from Mrs. Britt, over at The Magnolia Pair, that Ebay is selling these necklaces like crazy for crazy cheap {when you compare it to the J.Crew price tag}. Well, I wanted to hop on the train and try something outside of my normal boring box, and considering I LOVE J.Crew anything, I knew I'd be a fan! The even cooler part was it only took about 2 1/2 weeks to ship... from CHINA! I was impressed! And it's gorgeous! I've worn it three times already and it came to our mailbox Thursday evening!

Sporting my new necklace and new shorts with my gf Tatiana!

Friday night I really had the urge to go visit some thrift stores/consignment shops, so I decided I would try to visit a few on Saturday while the hubby was working an extra shift at work! In my actual "city" we lack a lot of NICE thrift stores or consignment shops and I usually head out to the ritzier areas to find better items! Well I got lazy Saturday and didn't end up leaving the house till 3 in the afternoon, {not enough time to head to the rich folks place} so I just hit up our local Plato's Closet! If you don't know what PC is, its a consignment store focused on the "younger crowd". They only buy the hippest clothes from the hippest places like Forever 21, J.Crew, H&M, etc. Once I arrived I got to digging. I was mainly looking for new office attire, like skirts and blouses, and hopefully a few casual pieces for our weekend extravaganzas.

Low and behold, I actually walked out with 6 pieces of clothing and a necklace! 2 pairs of shorts {non-hoochie}, a pencil skirt, white short sleeved blouse, a grey belted wrap blouse, and a brightly colored blouse that looks like a table cloth {but I'm really trying to get out of my comfort zone}. The final total was around 64 bucks, which I think was pricy for used clothing, however, several pieces still had the original tags on them, so I couldn't complain too much! Check them out below!

I was actually very excited for my purchases, while purchasing them, but the moment I walked out of the store door I instantly wanted to return it ALL! Stupid Stupid Buyers Remorse! Eventually the feelings started to fade and now I'm 100% stoked that I was able to treat myself to SOMETHING! At least I know I'll have a pretty awesome dressed week at work!

To treat myself EVEN more I'm participating in the Bauble Swap hosted by Shanna over at Because Shanna Said So! It's so awesome and I am really looking forward to recieving a fun new necklace to add to my collection!!! Check it out!!! She has already asigned me my partner!!





I hope y'all are having an awesome Monday! I have some really stellar job news to tell y'all soon and of course I need to share our Annimoon trip!!! Hopefully I will be able to get to all of it this week!! I also want to give a HUGE Thank You to my sponsor Tiffany over at Blabbering Thoughts who tweeted about my blog this weekend and got me several new followers! Almost to 100 and so much was due to her!!! So grateful and flattered!!!

XoXo,

Our Wedding Day - The Details!

Now that you've traveled through Old Towne Portsmouth with us, seen us get ready, walked down the aisle with us, and partied into the night, all that is left to share are all the amazing details of our wedding day!

Just a little back story, my Pappa {who left us to join the angels this past December} was a hoarder! Not a trash hoarder like you see on the TLC show, but a junk hoarder. He hoarded stuff at his home, at properties my mother owned, in properties his friends owned, my mothers own back yard and woods, basically any space he could use to store and stash items, he did! When cleaning up the wooded area on the outskirts of my mom's land, where the wedding was going to be held, we found some serious vintage items, like the door for our alter backdrop! Not to mention my mom is big into the Victorian era and her home is full of antiques, vintage items, and shabby chic treasures! We basically hit a gold mine as far as my Pappa's hoarding and Mom's decor was concerned! The majority of the decor and furniture were already ours! Our wedding stylist Amy with Style by Design was in heaven and did a superb job at setting everything up!!

The chairs used at our sweet heart table were my grandparents who passed when I was still in highschool! I was really glad we used them as it was like a small piece of them was there celebrating with us! We incorporated lots of burlap, pearls, and lace! Our favors were Homemade Ice Cream treats, which contained, rock salt, creamers, and vanilla powder. When you add ice to the jar and shake, it makes ice cream! Another fun fact, the vases at each table - they were plastic! We bought 20 clear plastic vases and painted them white to look like milk glass! No one could tell the difference!

Side note! We had to do a reshoot of our wedding portraits! Todd ended up over heating during photo session time and actually had to go inside to take a breather on the wedding day! Well that cut into photos of us! So a month later, we got dolled up again, and our awesome photographer came out and shot a ton more photos of just the two of us! I wanted to share this, because I'm honest and I want y'all to know that not everything went picture perfectly on our day! But it worked out, we got some fabulous photos, and the second shoot was way more enjoyable because we weren't being rushed around and tossed in fifty different directions!

Enjoy our little details!!!

Vendors Showcased in this post:
Caterer: The Green Bean Cafe
DJ: Ernie Hefferon
Cake: CakeMaker ~ Alicia Patterson
Wedding Stylist: Style By Design
Florist: Bowman's Garden Center
Vintage Furniture: Something Old, Something Borrowed Vintage Event Rentals
Videographer: LNRpro
Wedding Gown: David's Bridal

Bridesmaid Dresses: Maya Couture ~ Alfred Sung of The Dessy Group

Groomsmen suits: Maya Couture 

Groomsmen ties: The Dessy Group

Hair: Remedies Salon and Spa

Makeup: Sarah Smith with Kiss & Makeup

Photographer: Dana Duncan Photography

After the wedding, my mom and I decided to start our own Vintage Event Rental business with ALL of the awesome and unique pieces we found! Check out our Facebook page, Something Old, Something Borrowed {Vintage Event Rentals}!

Wooohooo it's Friday! I hope each of you has a wonderful and fabulous weekend!! Thank you for spending the week reliving our wedding day! I am so glad I was finally able to share it all with you!!!

XoXo,