Why? Oh Lord Why?

Several months ago I talked myself out of writing a post about this. I felt it would be invasive, disrespectful, and a complete lack of respect for a family's privacy. I did not want to expose their business to people who did not know them personally. I felt it wasn't my place and as a person who holds respecting people extremely high, I just felt it inappropriate to speak of it.

I don't even want to write about the life altering situation that occurred yesterday and affected yet another family that I am acquainted with. However, I have so many emotions running through me right now that I can't think of ANYTHING else that I want to post about. Life is completely unfair and with these two incidents and the horrible events in Aurora I'm slowly losing my grip on my faith. 

Several months ago, an old friend of mine, who I will say I do not speak with anymore but used to be extremely close with, lost her 8 month old baby girl. I don't know the details, only hear say, and I refuse to repeat what I have heard as 1. it is not my business and 2. if I haven't heard if from my old friend herself, its not my place to share. The details don't even matter. What matters is that this sweet precious soul {who I never had a chance to meet} was taken far too early. 

When I heard about the situation, I'll be honest, I had a very hard time relating to it because I don't have a child. I've never experienced that feeling of love for your very own child, the miracle you have created. Obviously, I was heartbroken for this family but I didn't cry. I was extremely saddened but never sat and just cried over it. I did ask a lot of questions, the biggest one being WHY? Why would God take a healthy well cared for child away from her parents and her family? Why when there are abused and neglected children, still in the care of their evil undeserving parents, would God allow this to happen to a stable family? Plain and simple Why? 

I am a Christian, a born again believer. I was raised in church practically my whole life. I can't tell you the last time I regularly attended church, it's been awhile, but I am a firm believer in our Lord. I know there are reasons he does these things. I just wish we could fully understand and comprehend those reasons. Especially when it seems that a life was taken, far too early, for no reason. 

The events in Colorado last week was another mind boggling, faith questioning event. Why God?! Why would you do this to these innocent bystanders just wanting to see a movie. Why take so many young people who still had so much of a life to live?

Yesterday's event hit too close to home for me as it was something I could, without a doubt relate to. Another old friend from high school, who I kept up with through Facebook, lost her husband who was also her high school sweetheart in a car accident in our hometown. They have a beautiful one year old little girl and just finished celebrating a week long vacation this past weekend. I know, via Facebook, that they were also getting ready to move into a new home. Yet his life was taken yesterday and now his dear wife and precious baby girl have to endure this tragedy and their future life without him. I.can.not.imagine. I know what it's like to have a husband.  I know what it's like to love your other half completely. To plan a future together. To trust. To admire. To call your best friend. And to lose all of that in a blink of an eye, it sends me into a sobbing mess. 

Once again I find myself asking God why?! Why would you do this to such a wonderful young family? A hard working man supporting the love of his life and their new child?! Why would you take this child's only father away?! Why would you take this friends one true love away?! Why would you break this family's hearts?! Why would you do this to good people?! Why, Why, Why, Oh dear God WHY?! 

There are so many bad, ugly, and evil people in this world, ie. the Aurora shooter, but yet you, God, have spared that mans life... for now. Why do you allow such crazy and sick individuals to live and walk on this Earth but take the good people far too soon?! 

I know I will never get my answers for this, until I meet God myself. I just keep praying, asking for understanding, asking for peace, asking for more faith. My heart is broken for all of these families and old friends. No one should ever have to feel this pain. I know death is a part of life, something we have to learn to deal with, but not in these ways. Not in these kinds of accidents. I know each of these families are still incredibly confused and battling a daily war of emotions and questions. All I can hope for them is that they continue to pray for strength to help them through these traumatic events. I know God will supply it, he will give them peace, and strength, and an abundance of love but I don't know if these events could ever truly be understood. I don't see how. 

I don't doubt God and his plans for all of us but I do question him a lot. We are only human to do so. I just want all of these families pain to be erased, for it to disappear, and for their loved ones to return. Wishful thinking I know but if I can't understand why their worlds have been completely turned upside down, I don't see how they can understand it either. I hope in time God does show them why and I hope in time their hearts are able to heal. I can't stop praying for that and I won't stop praying for that. 

My heart is very heavy today, but this post is not about me, it's about these families being lifted up in prayer. It's about these families finding peace. It's about keeping our faith no matter how many times we ask God why. 

XoXo,